“Transitions” presented by Mark Bowen and Siv Sandberg

Mark gave us a very informative talk on all types of transitions effecting family members.  He gave credit to Julia Love who put together the presentation as it said everything.

  

There are difficulties for both who is leaving and who is staying. There is a grieving process for our children, which can be seen in many ways of their behaviour. Parents also have their transition to cope with but to help their children one needs to step back, take a deep breath, calm themselves before they approach the family member on the subject of moving.  Sue, LS Counsellor, sets up ‘leaver groups’ for those leaving so they may share and talk through their feelings of the upcoming transition.  The May assembly also focuses on transitions from all views. 

Mark talked about how in some situations that parents are not giving their children and choices in the transition and keep them out of the full moving procedure.  This could possibly result in negativity and changes of attitude within the child. 

Points to ponder in Helping a Child to Relocate:

• Be lenient
• Watch attitudes
• Include your child in choices in the new location
• Look at schools together
• Make sure they will be able to continue to activities in the new location outside of school, ask what your child is looking for in the new community
• Make them apart of the decisions as much as possible
• Make them feel apart of the whole process
• KEEP ROUTINES!

Communication:

• Your child needs closure as much as you, don’t ignore this
• Express feeling and issue to help them grieve
• Dedicate a day to each family member and do what they would like but go as a family
• Remember their achievements (and yours) and milestones throughout this stay
• Take time to say goodbye, don’t leave it until the last minute
• Sign a shirt for memorabilia, create a book for all their friends to sign and add photos
• Work through the lose of friends-keep in touch with old friends but don’t rely on them for your ‘future’ social life
• Make new friends; get involved with school and community activities and clubs
• Moving back to old routes-rebuild you relationships but there is the possibility they won’t be what you remembered.
• Ensure that special things are packed in your moving bag not shipped. Things that may be needed to start school or summer activities (skate board?)

The Future:

• Set the children up first in your new home.
• Make them feel they are one of the important priorities in the move
• Children can sense your anxiety, remember your ‘quality time’ !